Where ADHD meets stickman, still

Zombies diary

YES! IT’S DONE!! I’ve spent a lot of time in writing it and it’s done! Te finished version is  gonna be on display in New York. XD At the mean time, enjoy this.

June 14th, 2122

Today, I got this notebook as a birthday gift. Seriously, who gives notebooks as a birthday gift anymore? The new Hologram phone from that company… Oh, what’s their name.. That would be the perfect gift for me, and about a million others on the planet. As a veterinarian and a full grown adult, I might seem like an unappreciative teenager, but that phone IS gorgeous. There’s no denying of that.

That’s right, I got accepted at that animal clinic just 5 minutes away. I have studied 7 years to get that dream job and I’m not going to waste it. I’m almost as happy as that day when I kissed Kari for the first time last Christmas in the corner and danced through the night. Almost.

Since got this notebook I might as well make use of it, besides, I could use some old fashion diary to write down some of the stuff that I just couldn’t post it on my blog.

June 30th, 2122

Wow, I almost forgot your existence there, dear diary. The news had talked about something about a decease outbreak during lunch. I didn’t get much of the detail since the crunching of the chips in my mouth made it hard to listen,

It wouldn’t get my attention normally. After all the media just loves to over blow anything they can to create chaos, I mean, views. However, I heard some symptoms they reported on the news are quit similar to the husky with the mystery disease I treated today. Fever, lack of appetite, swollen ear cannel and trachea. It looks like nothing I’ve learned in school. Too bad my supervisor celled in sick today, maybe she could have helped that poor puppy. The dog is staying in the clinic for further observation. I hope he get’s better soon.

July 4th, 2122

Max the husky didn’t make it. The almost exact symptoms to the outbreak worries me. What worries me more is that even more dogs, especially large ones, are coming in with the same sickness. The sheer amount of canines that needed treatment is overloading our small clinic and we need to reject a lot of them despite of their owners plead. I really feel sorry them. What didn’t help is that even more staff called in sick today, possibly due to the outbreak.

A human to dog, or vice versa, decease transmission is very likely. I fear that  the media and the public has under estimated the outbreak. My gamer brother had jokingly said that it’s the coming of the “Z-Day” over the phone. The “Zombie Apocalypse”. Kari and I laughed, but some where deep down inside I fear that my brother was right.

But it couldn’t be true.

Right?

July 8th, 2122

You wouldn’t believe me, my dear diary. I didn’t believe it myself even tho I saw it with my eyes. It started a few days ago. The last thing that was broadcasted before transmissions were down was exactly what my brother thought. The last words were “…The only way is to remove or disable the function of the brian from the infected individual. To recap, it is vital that you stay in your homes. Make no attempt to reach loved ones, and avoid all physical contact with the assailants.”

My brother is my last family around. I need to see if he’s alright.

I looked at Kari in the eyes and said “Do you believe everything you hear on TV?” Without a word, we packed what we think we need and head out to find my brother.

It’s a 3 hours drive to his apartment near his collage. It was the longs drive of my life.

On the way I saw total mayhem. The looting and rampage had already begun. I think the humans had done more actual damage then the “infected” ones. Funny how fast rules disappears and social structure crumbles down in a matter of seconds.

Cars on fire, windows smashed, blood pooled on the floor. We had our closest encounter with the “infected” so far. Almost all human-like traits are lost. It’s like the only brain function remaining is the basic instinct, to move and eat. They are aimlessly wondering on the streets, bumping on each other at times. Occasional moaning can be heard. I suspect that it’s what’s left of the remaining higher brain function still acting up on the individual. They are not picky eaters either. Dead bodies lying on the floor, with no internal organs, or flesh for that matter. That’s only the view we saw before we even hit the highway.

The highway are jammed with abandoned cars. There’s no way that our car can get through. That’s it, we’re on out foot. I really should have listened to my brother and get a gun.  (drawing of highway)

July 11th, 2122

We found this empty house near the road and we finally had some form of shelter after days of camping out in the open. Finally we can get some real sleep. The only thing that kept us going is the hope that my brother is still alive. We still have a long way to go.

Maybe it’s my unromantic and over logical brain, as described by Kari, I questioned her motives as to why is she still following me. She said that there’s no where better for her to go anyway since her parents had passed away a long time ago and her siblings live on the other side of the country. That’s the answer she thinks I want to hear, since it’s the “more logical” one. Maybe that’s really why she’s still with me. Maybe it’s because she really loves me. Either case, I’m not complaining. I love you Kari.

The nights were horrible. They seemed to be more active during the night. I also found out that they are sensitive to sound. It’s logic defying how locomotion is still possible with the degree of decomposition seen on some individuals. (drawings of zombies)

I am sure that the higher functions of the brain does not exist anymore in the infected. Which means no social structure, no speech, no reasoning, nothing. Also, the will of self preservation seems to be turned off across the population. They’re walking as if nothing has happened to them even though there’s gaping holes on their body. This makes them fearless killers but it is defiantly not ideal for sustaining the population in the long run. Which is good news, if we manage to last that long.

Why am I analysing this? Well, it’s the only brain exercise I can do. Maybe it’s the only way to keep me from being insane.

July 23rd, 2122

We reached my brother’s apartment. To our horror, it’s empty. However, in the secret stash of weed (Don’t ask. It’s a brother thing) I found a note directed to Kari and I. He has gone into his “Fort of Awesome” with his buddies and are more then welcome for the two of us. I guess his gaming knowledge, especially regarding zombies, had saved him and his friend’s lives. Attached to the note was a map the the FoA and a revolver with a few extra rounds to spare. I love my brother.

The sigh of relieve Kari had was comforting to hear. It is then I realized that we had not have a proper conversation for a long time. On our way to the FoA, we had are first real chat. We talked about what would we be doing if the nightmare had not happened. I would be still in the clinic, and she would be still in her office. We talked about our possible future, if we’re going to have kids, and before I know it, a moan from a distance had dragged both of us back into reality.

I’ve been to shooting range a few times before. All I can say is firing at paper and human, or ex-human, are worlds apart. We ran, and ran, and all of a sudden, there’s a barrel of a shot gun pointed at my head.

Luckily, it’s my brother. He’s alive.

P.S. The FoA is more awesome then I previously thought. It’s completed with beer, food, a gas powered generator, almost an illegal amount of firearms and other forms of weapons.

Aug 2nd, 2122

That’s it. There goes our last can of tuna. We shared it among the 5 of us. We have to face the truth. We’re out of food and we need to get more. There might not be a lot of talents collage students may have, but finding food is definitely one of them.

Being among them makes me feel old, even though I’m only a few years older then them. I’m an adult with a stable income, or used to, and with a stable relationship. This also made me the default leader of the pack. My brother, acting as my lefthand man, led us to the school’s cafeteria.

The school is dead quiet, no pun intended. Our footsteps echoed throughout the corridor. A revolver in hand, it’s almost feels like I’m in the latest first person shooter, except the things I saw are not a projected hologram like I played just a few weeks before… this… began.

I’ve never been more excited about ketchup. We squeezed as much as we can from the container which we, at hind sight, should have just taken the whole box with us anyway. The main goods are behind the counter, which is oddly safely locked behind cold iron gates. There’s a zombie apocalypse and you still manage to find time to lock up the food?

The lock is proved unmatched to the stock of my brother’s shotgun. It took him awhile to beak it. He rejected the idea of shooting the lock to conserve bullets. Each pound on the lock send a shock wave though my heart. They are sensitive to sound. Since we didn’t came across any of them on our way in, I’d thought not to spread unnecessary panic so I didn’t mention it.

I was wrong.

The sun set seems to be early today. It was almost dark when we finally came out with the loot. One of my brother’s friend switch on the flash light attachment on his MP5 (How does a collage student manage to get his hand on one of those is beyond me. But hey, I’m not complaining.) The hallways were a little more crowded then before. Before we know it, we had company.

We ran to the parking lot. They kept chasing after us. I noticed that some of them do not run as fast as others. I think the degree of decomposition does in fact hinder locomotion. They just ignore the fact that their own damn body is rotting.

Don’t get me wrong, the Colt Python is an amazing revolver. However, the 6 shots in the cylinder is really does lack in sustaining firepower. After 6 loud “BOOM!” I’m out. There’s no time for me to reload. In desperation, I saw a fallen stop sign lying on the floor. I used it to *stop* zombies from getting me. (Get it? Get it?)

P.S. This is Kari. I’m just amazed at how bad his jokes can get, especially in this circumstances. I hereby apologize for the bad pun.

Aug 18th, 2122

It’s been a few weeks since my last entry. There’s a reason for it. It’s quite uneventful. We spent most of our time just lying around like a pride of lions in the hot African sun.

Just before dinner (If you can call squirrel meat stew dinner), my brother told me that Britney, the girl in our group that I had never mention before, was in fact his girlfriend for 3 months. I have no idea what to make of this but Kari was all “Awww, I knew it all along! You guys looks so sweet together!” I just responded with a smile. I guess she’s fine.

I’ve been thinking for awhile. We can’t spend the rest of our lives like this. Just sitting around as the day go by. We are the survivors of the apocalypse. I think we should try and rebuild life as we know it. I proposed the idea of packing up and search for other survivors during dinner.

It was met with reasonable skepticism at first. Not that they’re against the idea of rebuilding society, but if just the 5 of us would be able to pull it off. At the back of my head I remembered how “civilized” human beings turned into monsters just moments after “Z-Day” begun. I questioned myself if it is worth it. I guess the Z-Day acted as a reset button. It reminded us how life as we know it can turn upside-down in a blink of the eye.

However, after a long discussion, we came to a decision. We will set foot in search of other bands of survivors next thing in the morning.

I feel productive.

Aug 22nd, 2122

Last night was a close call. The camp we had were discovered by a roaming group of walkers (That’s what my brother and his gang called them). Are they… going in groups? Are they regaining a higher function of their brain? Or the ones with total lose of higher function have died out and thus the only remaining ones are those who are able to organize into small groups? In other words, are they evolving?

I do not dare to hang around a dead person for long, especially ones who had died the second time. But a brief look at the “specimen” and pretty much confirmed what I had suspected. It’s the same thing as Max, and many other dogs back in the clinic had. Without the proper tools it is hard to go on further. Besides, I’m not that familiar the anatomy of the human body. It does occur to me that hair loss might be one of the symptom that shows up in later stages. I’m not too sure about it yet since it’s hard to determine if the hair loss I see throughout the walker population is due to the sickness or their scalp rotting away.

It made me wonder, if the zombification (yes, it’s a word now) process would happen on dogs too.

Sep 7th, 2122

It’s Kari’s birthday! We managed to have a little celebration going on. It’s amazing to see how she keeps her sprites up against all odds. It’s also the first real laugh I had since a few months ago. It’s amazing how long have we survived on our own. No signs of other survivors yet. It’s a chilling thought that if we are the last humans alive.

We found a music store and we decided to spent the night in. We played guitars and we danced around the fire we had near the rear exit. It’s was the best night of my life. We partied all night long and it is an after thought that how lucky we were to not have any walkers to crash the party.

We decided to head downtown, against my brother’s reasoning. It is densely populated. Which means the probability meeting walkers are dangerously high. It is, however, this exact reason that raises the chances of us finding other survivors.

Ever more, finding survivors became a necessity. Our shells are running low, not forgetting food, water, and other supplies. The only consolation is that the bags are lighter and therefore easier to carry. But I’d rater have a heavy bag and the fact that our supplies are stable.

I never noticed before but I really appreciate this notebook I’m writing on. It’s the only connection I have with my pass. The birthday, the job. I do miss it.

I also noticed that crows are the only birds I’ve seen lately. It doesn’t surprise me as their natural adaptability is amazing. I wonder what happened to the rest of the birds, or wildlife in general. Did they get eaten? Or worst…

Sep 19, 2122

Cap’an’s log entry. Arr! T’day be a fruitful day for me crew. We be plundered empty houses and we find ourselves filled with booty!

We be killin’ more o’ ye scurvy walking dead. However, I must say, me nearest o’ kin and trusty deck mate might be right. There be more walkers then those be spied a fortnight ago. Worry not, me lad. We must stand strong in search of passing ships and other crew members.

May ye be having a fantastic speak like a pirate day!

Sep 23rd, 2122

The loot didn’t last us very long. We’ve been starving for a few days now. It doesn’t help we had yet another raid at our camp and we lost a good half of the food supplies.

We finally reached downtown but I fear that our gamble didn’t pay off. We are running into the walkers left and right and we would never make it out alive. We can see signs of military activities in the streets. Sandbags, tanks, dead soldiers. It also seems that there’s a skeleton of a horse beside the tank. What is a horse doing in the middle of a city?

This lowers our moral quite a bit. I mean, those are supposed to be the professionals. We knew that obviously they had failed in combating the walkers but to see them fallen right before our eyes made us feel foolish.

Every corner is a hazard. We creeped around every corner and had a few close calls of running into hordes of walkers and became lunch. I feel like we’re Jack from Jack and the bean stalk, hiding from the giant in his castle. “Fe, fa, fi-fo-fum, I smell the breath of an Englishman.” Although none of us are Englishman, I’m sure they definitely smelled us. Maybe their sense of smell are pretty keen, too. That doesn’t make sense… Human’s smell, although quite impressive, are not exactly the best around. They shouldn’t be able to do any better then the previous owner of the body. Maybe their eyeballs have rotten away and so they rely on their other seances more then before. This might also explain their sensitivity to sound.

I do question myself why am I spending so much time studying those walkers. Maybe it reminds me that there are more to life then killing zombies and gathering food. I seem to quite enjoy it anyway. It’s like an extreme hobby.

We finally found an abandoned factory (is the word abandoned a little redundant here?) and decided to stay here for the night. The pipes rattles and makes terrifying sounds. Sometimes they sound like talking, sometimes they sound like laughing, sometimes they even sound like screaming. I do not want to spend another night here.

Also, my brother’s friend, the one with the MP5 (Gosh, my brother just called his name the other night!) is acting rather strangely lately. He has been complaining about muscle pain more often. And sometimes he seems a little more unresponsive then usual. I think the horror may have finally taken a toll on him.

Oct 4th, 2122

This made Kari really happy. I love to see her smile. If there’s one thing I have to look at for the rest of my life, which arguably could be short, it would have to be her charming smile. The way her cheeks puffs up, the happy dance, the sounds she make, it’s beautiful.

“What made her so happy?” you ask? Why, non-existing person, it’s because we’ve found our way into a mall! The mall is virtually untouched by the chaos outside. Besides the dim lighting, it’s exactly the way it is before the outbreak. Everything is left untouched. Clothes, water, beds. I changed everything but my lab coat. It’s a reminder of a past where killing is not only not a part of daily routine, it’s actually illegal.

I have good news and bad news. Good news, we found survivors. Bad news, they’re not exactly the warmest persons in the world. I was the first one to see them on the upper level on the building across the garden of the mall. I waved as if I want to get my arm out of the socket. He man screamed with a think southern accent and asked us to go away. After just a few words with him, he gathered two more and actually open fire on us! What is going on in his mind? For months we’ve not seen another healthy human being and the first group we saw tried to kill us.

We retreated to the original building we came from, not wanting to kill a living person. Luckily no one actually got shot. Those red necks. I hope not everyone left on the planet are anything similar to those stupid asses.

The condition of Mr MP5 is still worsening. He had problem breathing and moving. Being the closest thing to a doctor around, I gave him a basic check up. I lied to the group. Swollen ear cannel, breathing problem which suggest swollen trachea, fever. It matches. I told them it might be just a flu. This problem should be delta with as soon as possible.

We spent the night at a furniture shop with proper beds and everything. It was awesome. But the fact that we just got shot today and the possibility of Mr. MP5 infection just makes it so hard to fall asleep.

Oct  6th, 2122

I told Felix, Mr. MP5, the condition. He showed me his bite mark on his upper arm when I asked. He already knew his fate and that I was lying about the flu.

Here’s an account of Felix’s symtops.

Eyes: Sclera is bloodshot.
Ear canals: Swollen, creating a pounding sensation.
Trachea:  Swollen and filled with fluid.
Chest: “Feels like caving in.” Trouble breathing.
Stomach: Unable to digest anything food or liquid. Vomiting and diarrhea. Cramping.
Muscles: Aching similar to flu. Symptoms worsen exponentially. Movement became difficult. Ability to hold items like cups are impaired.

The bite was contracted on Sep 23rd. Death on Oct 6th 13:37 hours.

Here are the post-mortem physical characteristic.

Eyes: Sclera blackens over a short period of time.
Ear canals and trachea: Opens up and fluid drains.
Chest: No external change. Breathing and heart activity stopped.
Muscles: Occasional jerking. Seems like the brain never truly “died”. I have no idea how to use this term anymore.

We gave him a burial after my brother smashed his skull with a shovel to make sure he doesn’t come out from the shallow grave. Rest in peace, Felix.

Oct 9th, 2122

The lost really unbearable. We have not really spoken with each other for a few days now.

My brother asked me to keep his MP5 with me. I could not get rid of look of his face when I looked at his rotten bite wound. I just have flash backs of it every time I look at that gun.

The streets are strangely quiet today. We only saw a few of those walkers and we managed to sneak pass them.

There are, however, a lot of shot walkers around. I’m no expert in it so I have no idea how fresh was the kill, but I does look like someone, or some group, had been doing some killing around.

The strange thing is that it snowed early this year. This morning we woke up to a white city. Our clothing are not quite ready for the snow but it’s good to see something so naturally beautiful after walking in hell for 5 months.

We were taking a break from walking when suddenly a walker approached us from the alley. We had our weapons drawn and all of a sudden there’s a loud thud. It stepped on a icy puddle and slipped. Watching it struggle to get back up was actually amusing and I managed to have a quick sketch of it before we finish it off “with a bang”.

It might be a sign that we should head north where it’s colder and more icy.

Oct 14th, 2122

THAT WAS THE MOST EXCITEMENT I HAD IN MY LIFE! It looked like it was straight out of the movies! It started out as one really, really bad morning.

I was on watch last night and the rattling noise in the distance was bothering me for quite awhile now. The sun was almost up and I was hoping that the sun would come out before they would. I quietly woke the rest and we packed up as quickly as possible.

It didn’t take long before we were discovered and the rat race begun. We just kept running and running all of a sudden, we were trapped in a corner. There’s no way out. We kept shooting and shooting but there’s too many of them. We looked at each other in the eye and prepared for the worst.

Then, out of nowhere, a huge explosion through the walls blew the walkers away! We heard engines running, wheels going over rubbles between the bursts of a heavy machine gun. Smoke were everywhere and we can’t see anything apart of the occasional muzzle blasts of many guns.

A barrel of an AK-47 pierced through the thick cloud of dust like a spear and then a man emerged soon after. He’s wearing a long coat and an ushanka. With a stereotypical Russian accent, he said “Come, I got you.”

We walked us through the cloud of dusk and there it is. It’s the single most impressive vehicle I’ve ever seen. Among the Jeeps with people firing machine guns while standing out on the sun roof, there’s an freaking tank in the middle of the street.

To be more technical, it’s a BRT-80 Armoured Personal Carrier. Unlike a tank, it’s main job is to carry person and cargo into the battlefield and not for direct conflict. So it’s fitting with a heavy machine gun instead of a cannon. But I guess it doesn’t really matter when your main component are armed with only nails and teeth. (I’m sorry this kind of stuff interest me.)

My brother could only stand with his mouth opened in awe and uttered “Whoa… It’s… huge…”
Dimitri, the guy who pulled us out from the dust cloud, said in a really bad ass way with a heavy Russian accent “It’s Russian.”

We got into the APC and he introduced himself and his group. He’s a band of survivors that got together for about a month now. Dimitri is the owner and trainer of most of the weapon supplies in the group (including the APC, wow, I know), which is located in the outskirt of the city. They’re not like nomads like us. They’re a small community of 20, with children and old folks alike. It’s a pretty much self sustaining group. There’s farms with fruit trees, corn fields, different farm animals like chickens, goats, cats and dogs.

The community welcomed us with delight and boy, warm baths are the best thing in the world. Also… Let’s just say Kari and I shared the bathtub tonight.

Oct 20th 2122

Life here in the community is great. The sunsets are amazing. The view of a lake and how the sun just dissolve into the horizon. It’s breath taking. The sense of security I had since the outbreak feels so good. The fact that there’s a APC hanging around in the garage really boost the level of confidence in me.

There’s a sick cat in the farm. I was worried at first that the outbreak has spread to the cats. On inspection it’s only a simple case of eating the wrong things. The cat will survive just fine. It seems that the outbreak could only affect you through direct contact since the dogs are in perfect shape and show no signs of infection.

I’ve been assigned to over look the operation on taking care of the animals since I’m a vet and all. Although large farm animals are not my area, I guess that will just have to do just fine. My brother, not surprisingly, became part of the guards what keep us safe. He almost worships Dimitri as a god. Being naturally good with guns he already earned the rank of squad leader and have 3 men under his command. Dimitri himself is pretty awesome. He’s not a man with many words, but when it comes to getting things done, he definitely can get things done. He has this saying “I haf not come so far vrom Russia tu die now.” Man, his accent is just so hot.  I hope Kari doesn’t read this….

Kari and Britney are taking turns to care for stuff like taking turns to wash, cook, play with and teach the children. Life here is peaceful, we rarely have walkers that wonders to the hidden paradise. .

Jan 2nd, 2123

It’s been a few months before I could finally get myself to open this book again. You may have noticed the handwriting is different.

They told me it’s not my fault, but deep down I still have a feeling that it is.

It was on a gathering trip. We were inside a train station. The electricity was out and it was like being swallowed by a dragon whole. We had our flash lights on and every step we took echoed throughout the station. We were looking at what little it’s left in a snack shop inside. A distant moan stopped us dead in our tracks and we looked around for the source.

There were hundreds and hundreds of them at the far side of the tunnel. It didn’t take long before one noticed us and gave a loud roar which echoed thought the whole underground system. All of them started running towards us. We kept running and shooting as much as we could. It was then I made a mistake that I would regret for life.

I just managed to trip over my foot and fell flat on the ground. My pistol went sliding across the floor and dropped on the railway track. He came back for me. He was shooting his gun with one hand and trying to grab me with another. He yanked me up while I grab hold of my machete. This is where one walker from behind him got a hold of him. I kicked the walker away and we ran as fast as we could up the stairs, and closing the gates behind us.

I thought we have made it out alive. Then, we noticed his lab coat was stained red. His expression on his face, however, was strangely calm.

He spent the next 2 days just laying on the bed, and kept referring to Felix’s symptoms and comparing to his own. Finally, he uttered the words that no one wanted to hear. “Kill me. While I’m still a human.”

He refused to let me kiss him. He spent his last moments in my arms before he finally withdraw his last breath.

His brother and Dimitri did what they need to do. It’s the first time I’ve seen two grown man in tears.

This is the story of a good brother, an amazing husband, and future father.